(within) Right, sir, I'll tell you when an you tell me wherefore.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(from offstage) Right. Give me one good reason and I will.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not dined today.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
A reason? So I can eat lunch. I haven't eaten today.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(within) Nor today here you must not. Come again when you may.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(from offstage) And you won't eat here today. Come again some other time.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Who do you think you are, keeping me out of my own house?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
45
(within) The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
(from offstage) I'm the doorkeeper for the moment, and my name is Dromio.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name!
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,
Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or thy name
for an ass.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
You jerk! You've stolen both my job and my name! True, the job never did me much good, and my name only ever got me in trouble. If you were the Dromio in my shoes today, you would have felt like you traded your head for a target and your name for the name of “Ass.”
LUCE
50
(within) What a coil is there, Dromio! Who are those at the gate?
