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Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, and BALTHASAR
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS,ANGELO, and BALTHASAR enter.





5




10
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
Say that I lingered with you at your shop
To see the making of her carcanet,
And that tomorrow you will bring it home.
But here’s a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
And that I did deny my wife and house.—
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Signior Angelo, please excuse us. My wife gets angry when I’m late. Here’s the story we’ll tell her: that I was with you at your shop, watching you make her necklace, and that you’re going to deliver it tomorrow. But here comes a scoundrel who says he saw me at the marketplace and that I beat on him, told him I’d given him a thousand marks in gold, and then lied about my wife and my house. You drunkard, what was that all about?




DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.
That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to show;
If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Say what you want, but I know what I know. You beat me at the marketplace, and I have the bruises to prove it. If my skin were paper and your punches were ink, you could read the beating on my body.

15
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I think thou art an ass.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I think you’re an ass.




DROMIO OF EPHESUS
   Marry, so it doth appear
By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
I should kick being kicked; and, being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Honestly, it sure looks that way, judging by all the beatings and the bad treatment I’m getting. Since I’m an ass, I ought to kick like one. Then you’d be scared of me and keep away.


20
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
You’re sad, Signior Balthasar. Pray God our cheer
May answer my good will and your good welcome here.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Signior Balthasar, you look upset. I hope the good meal I’m going to give you will show the goodwill I bear you and how welcome you are.

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The Comedy of Errors (No Fear Shakespeare)