No Fear Shakespeare
The Comedy of Errors
Act 2, Scene 2, Page 4
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
By what rule, sir?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why not?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father
Time himself.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I’ll tell you: it’s because of a law as plain as Father Time’s bald head.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Let’s hear it.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Let’s hear it.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald
by nature.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There may be a time for everything, but no man who has gone bald naturally can get his hair back.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
May he not do it by fine and recovery?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Can’t he get it by fine and recovery?
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of
another man.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Yes, he can pay a fine for a wig and then recover another man’s lost hair.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so
plentiful an excrement?
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why is Time so cheap about giving out hair? After all, it’s plentiful in its growth.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts, and what
he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because animals are blessed with hair. With men, he’s been stingy with hair, but he makes up for it by giving them intelligence.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, but there’s many a man hath more hair than wit.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
But a lot of men have more hair than intelligence.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
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DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
And not one of them is smart enough to stop himself from going bald.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without
wit.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
So then, you must think that hairy men are honest and simpleminded.
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