No Fear Shakespeare

The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare

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Act 2, Scene 2, Page 4

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65
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
By what rule, sir?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why not?


DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father
Time himself.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I’ll tell you: it’s because of a law as plain as Father Time’s bald head.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Let’s hear it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Let’s hear it.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There may be a time for everything, but no man who has gone bald naturally can get his hair back.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
May he not do it by fine and recovery?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Can’t he get it by fine and recovery?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of another man.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Yes, he can pay a fine for a wig and then recover another man’s lost hair.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why is Time so cheap about giving out hair? After all, it’s plentiful in its growth.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts, and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because animals are blessed with hair. With men, he’s been stingy with hair, but he makes up for it by giving them intelligence.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, but there’s many a man hath more hair than wit.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
But a lot of men have more hair than intelligence.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
And not one of them is smart enough to stop himself from going bald.

80
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
So then, you must think that hairy men are honest and simpleminded.

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