No Fear Shakespeare

The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare

Get this No Fear to go!

Act 4, Scene 3, Page 3

Original Text

Modern Text


ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
It is the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
She’s the devil.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Nay, she is worse; she is the devil’s dam, and here she comes in the habit of a light wench. And thereof comes that the wenches say “God damn me” that’s as much to say “God make me a light wench.” It is written they appear to men like angels of light. Light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No, she’s worse: she’s the devil’s mother, and she comes to us disguised as an easy wench. And that’s why some women say, “God damn me,” which is the same thing as saying, “God make me an easy wench.” The Bible says the devil looks like an angel of light. But fire also gives off light, and fire will burn you. In other words, easy wenches will burn you. Keep away from this one.

50
COURTESAN
Your man and you are marvelous merry, sir.
Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.
COURTESAN
You and your servant are very funny, sir. Will you come with me? Can we finish our lunch?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, if you do, expect spoon meat; or bespeak a long spoon.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, if you eat with her, bring really long silverware.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, Dromio?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why, Dromio?

55
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because of the old saying: “He who eats with the devil needs a very long spoon.” You need to keep far away from them.



ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
(to COURTESAN) Avoid then, fiend! What tell’st thou me of supping?
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress.
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
(to COURTESAN) Get away, you demon! You talk about eating? You’re a sorceress, like everyone else here. I’ll conjure you, like a spell: get away from me.

60

COURTESAN
Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
COURTESAN
Give me back the ring I gave you at lunch, or give me the necklace you promised in exchange. Then I’ll be gone, sir, and stop troubling you.

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