No Fear Shakespeare
As You Like It
Get this No Fear to go!
Act 5, Scene 2, Page 2
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ORLANDO
It is my arm.
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ORLANDO
Actually, it’s my arm.
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ROSALIND
I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a
lion.
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ROSALIND
I thought your heart had been wounded by a lion’s claws.
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ORLANDO
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
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ORLANDO
My heart has been wounded, but by a lady, not a lion.
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ROSALIND
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon
when he showed me your handkercher?
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ROSALIND
Did your brother tell you how well I pretended to faint when he showed me the handkerchief?
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ORLANDO
Ay, and greater wonders than that.
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ORLANDO
Yes, and he told me some things that were even more amazing.
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ROSALIND
Oh, I know where you are. Nay, ’tis true. There was never
anything so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar’s
thrasonical brag of “I came, saw, and overcame.” For your
brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no
sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they
sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the
reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the
remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs
to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be
incontinent before marriage. They are in the very wrath of
love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.
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ROSALIND
Oh, I know what you’re talking about. It’s true: it was as sudden as two rams rushing at each other, and as quick as Julius Caesar’s “I came, I saw, I conquered.” Your brother and my sister had no sooner met than they gave each other a good once over; they had no sooner looked at each other than they fell in love; no sooner fell in love than they sighed; no sooner sighed than they asked each other why they had sighed; no sooner answered than they sought a solution. And in this way, degree by degree, they’ve built a staircase toward marriage. And they had better climb those stairs immediately, or else they’ll end up in bed before they ought to. They’re in the heat of passion; they simply have to be together. You couldn’t beat the two of them apart.
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ORLANDO
They shall be married tomorrow, and I will bid the duke to
the nuptial. But Oh, how bitter a thing it is to look into
happiness through another man’s eyes. By so much the
more shall I tomorrow be at the height of heart-heaviness,
by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what
he wishes for.
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ORLANDO
They’ll be married tomorrow, and I’ll invite the duke to the ceremony. But, oh, it makes me bitter to look at happiness through another man’s eyes. Tomorrow I’ll be at the depths of my misery thinking about the happiness my brother has achieved, in having what he wished for.
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