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As You Like It

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Enter JAQUES and LORDS, like foresters
JAQUES enters with LORDS, dressed like foresters.

JAQUES
Which is he that killed the deer?
JAQUES
Which one of you killed the deer?

FIRST LORD
Sir, it was I.
FIRST LORD
It was me, sir.

JAQUES
Let’s present him to the duke like a Roman conqueror. And it would do well to set the deer’s horns upon his head for a branch of victory.—Have you no song, forester, for this purpose?
JAQUES
Let’s bring this man to the duke, like a triumphant Roman conqueror. Put the deer’s horns on his head, like a victory branch. Do you have a song, forester, for this occasion?

SECOND LORD
Yes, sir.
SECOND LORD
Yes, sir.

JAQUES
Sing it. 'Tis no matter how it be in tune, so it make noise enough.
JAQUES
Then sing it. It doesn’t matter if it’s in tune so long as it’s loud enough.

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SECOND LORD
(sings)
What shall he have that killed the deer?
His leather skin and horns to wear.
Then sing him home.
(The rest shall bear this burden.)
Take thou no scorn to wear the horn.
It was a crest ere thou wast born.
Thy father’s father wore it,
And thy father bore it.
The horn, the horn, the lusty horn
Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.
SECOND LORD
(sings)
What should we give to the man who killed this deer?
Give him the hide and the horns to wear.
Then sing this song to send him home
(The other LORDS pick up the deer)
Don’t be ashamed to wear the horns.
They’ve been worn since before you were born.
Your father’s father wore it,
And your father endured it.
The horn, the horn, the lustful horn
Is not to be laughed at or scorned.
Exeunt
They all exit.

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